Dr. Barbara Fontana, PhD
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"Relationships & How to Make Them Work"

Barbara Fontana, Ph.D
45 Route 25A
Shoreham, NY 11786
Ph: 631-821-1880

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the Week
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Barbara Fontana, PhD - Psychologist & Imago Relationship Therapist
Suffolk County, Long Island, New York - Couples Therapy

Tips of the Week for Couples

  • In their book "The Love Dare," Stephen and Alex Kendrick write: "Kindness is love in action."

Write these words on a piece of paper and post it where you can both see them. Or, put them on your cell phone or computer screen. They are words to live by.

  • Be more cooperative with each other.

If your spouse/partner asks you do to something, say yes and do it; don't make a face or complain or put it off.

  • Often it's hard to ask for what we really need in an honest and direct way.

We'd like the person we love to "just know" but they don't. Gather up your courage and tell your spouse/partner one thing you need from them. You might start by saying "this is really hard for me but I want to tell you something I need from you."

  • Don't leave your good manners at the door of your home, bring them into your home.

So often people tell me that their spouse/partner is nicer to a complete stranger than to them.

  • How you treat your spouse/partner affects their self-worth.

Treat them like you value or cherish them, like they matter to you.

  • Try to focus on the positive traits of your spouse/partner rather than the negative.

We all have negative qualities but dwelling on them doesn't help your relationship.

  • Make a list of your spouse/partner's positive qualities...

...and tell them one quality you appreciate each day.

  • How you greet your spouse can make a difference: when you wake up, come home, go to bed, talk on the phone.

Use your greeting to let your spouse/partner know you are glad to see them and love them by the look on your face and the tone in your voice.

  • Couples often disagree.

Try not to bicker over petty things. Before your argument escalates, take a breath and ask yourself how important is this to me. If it's not important, drop it. If it is important, ask yourself how can I state my view in a respectful way?

Psychologist Shoreham, Long Island | (631) 821-1880